Why I let my 2 year-old son take a home pregnancy test.

We were over the moon when we got pregnant with the twins. I took 2 or 3 home pregnancy tests a day for the first few weeks just to prove it was really happening (Greg still has no idea what my montly HPT budget was back then). Then the crippling all-day nausea kicked in and I didn't need any other evidence that the pregnancy was real.

I still have those tests stored in the drawer of my nightstand (along with other random mementos).  I don't have the heart to throw them out. I will never forget the joy of finally seeing that second line after trying for so long.

This week, the twins finally figured out how to open that drawer. They immediately started pulling the tests out rattling on in typical motor-mouth fashion. "Mama, what are these? Are these markers? Can I have paper to draw on? There’s lots of them. Can I take the tops off these white markers? Mama, what ARE these?"

Charles tried to put one in his mouth and I grabbed it away, saying without thinking "No, that’s yuck. Mama peed on that". Charles’ next question (of course) was "Can I pee on it, too?" One of our potty-training challenges is that Charles thinks it’s absolutely hilarious to pee on stuff  ( like toys or his sister in the bathtub).  Anyway, next came the tantrum "I wanna pee on Mama’s ‘white markers’!!!!   I want Mama to share her ‘pee-markers’ with me!!!" Then I gave in. I went to the bathroom, sat him on the potty and gave him one of the tests so he could pee on it. And I took pictures.

But look how happy it made him!!

One of my favorite parenting books is Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn (Thanks Sharon for giving it to me). One thing Kohn recommends is that parents say "yes" more often. It’s frustrating for toddlers to hear "no" all the time and if we save our "no’s" for when it’s actually important, kids will be more agreeable and more likely to comply. It’s picking your battles and also supporting their independence and development of decision-making skills.

Kohn suggests examining your motivation -- do I really have a good reason to say no?  Are they asking for something that's dangerous or wrong? Or is the request merely inconvenient or in Charles' case, absurdly silly. I am totally guilty of just saying "no" automatically. It's easier. Especially at the end of the day when I'm tired and I don't want to clean up after a craft project or go outside and throw rocks into the pond. But I want to change that.

Some other things I said yes to this week-end:

1) We let the twins have a bath at 7:30 am (without even having breakfast first!)

2) On our walk, we backtracked about 6 times "to see the geeses again"

3) I let the twins wear their coats backwards on our trip to the grocery store. 

4) They helped me wash dishes at the sink even though it made a colossal mess. 

So here's to saying yes!!

Sandra

Quote of the Day:
Me: "What happened to your banana?"
B: (Giggling maniacally) "I ate it.  Now I’m turning it into POOP!!!"