Perspective

Last Friday, I had a very bad morning.  It started out so promising.  I woke up bright and early (at 4 am) ambitious to put the house in some semblance of order before the weekend.  I even washed the kitchen and great room floors after picking up all the random items that mysteriously accumulate there each week.

An actual sample from today's floor: assorted small toys, crackers, ball of dryer lint, rocks, wooden spoon, nail clippers, Birds's custard powder,  outlet cover (that's not good),  IPOD earphones and marker with no cap (better check the walls).

I even had time to give the twins a morning bath and wash their hair (no easy feat - they really hate getting their heads wet). 

And then....chaos.

For reasons unknown, the twins exited the bath, made an immediate beeline to the pantry and climbed up to raid the brown sugar container.  They rubbed handfuls all over their naked bodies and into their still-wet hair.  Then they worked in tandem to dump the rest of the sugar onto the ground.  I was running this way and that to gather brooms and dustpans and stop B from licking the sugar off the floor when C opened the fridge to grab a 4L carton of milk.  It fell to the floor, split open and turned the entire kitchen into a wet sticky mess.  

I will admit that there was some yelling.  And some empty threats.  And some not-so-empty threats.

I got them re-washed, dressed and out the door when they managed to foil me yet again by deliberately locking themselves in my car (with the keys inside...of course).  While I searched for the spare set, they alternated between wailing on the horn and pulling every single card and piece of paper out of my wallet, ripping up some and scattering the rest all over my car.  

When I arrived at dayhome (1 hour late), I was fuming.  My sister (and totally awesome dayhome provider) joked that this would make a great blog post. 

I stared at her blankly.  "But it's not funny.  All I feel is rage."  White. Hot. Rage.

I have been waiting 4 days now for perspective to set in.  But nope, it's still not funny.  Not at all.   It drives me absolutely nuts when they are bad just for the sake of being bad.   And it's not just me, google 'twin escalation syndrome" sometime.   

Did I mention that while they were dumping the sugar, they were singing the song from the Wonderpets..... "What's going to work? Team work."  

Or that when I got the car door open, B was clutching my Visa card and explaining to C that she would use it to buy him a pony for his birthday.

Or that when my sister encouraged them to apologize to me, they dropped to the floor and started kissing my feet. 

Ok, perhaps it was a tiny, little bit funny.